Everyday Insanity and Delight

She's Gone.......

My beloved Grannie passed away last night.  Sigh.  It's been expected for a while now and while I guess I had come to terms with the fact that she was slipping away, I still feel shocked and terribly saddened of course..

She had had to be moved to a nursing home in Melbourne from Geelong and as is the case of many of our elderly, the move to full-time care is the end for them anyway.  Her quality of life was awful - she had to be assisted with EVERYTHING and each time I saw her I could see her frustration and humiliation with getting to that unfortunate life stage.  It's heartbreaking and you feel so helpless. She was miserable most of the time and each time I saw her she told me she hoped she didn't live much longer :(  I never wanted to hear that, but I could empathise.  She was always cheerful after a visit though :)

So she was an awesome grandmother, often cranky at the world (lol), incredibly talented at craft and patchworking and passionate about handmade everything.  She met with her ladies regularly and I'm sure they were her biggest support during her life's "challenges".  She was always one of the first people I would tell about anything I achieved, any good news I had, anything and she was always a huge supporter of my work and family.

I never saw her as much as I wanted to, she lived in Geelong for my entire life aside from when she was shipped to Melbourne into care.  Geelong is a beautiful place and always triggers happy memories for me as a child and later as an adult going there with Nathan and later with my children.  Some of my most profound realisations have been made on the beach there looking at the ocean.

It was my Grannie that inspired my own love of crafting and handmade things usually because of the amazing things she crafted for me.  She made my sister and I gorgeous pyjamas, toys, bags, needle cases, all sorts of things that I sometimes didn't appreciate until I have become an adult.  When she was moved to the nursing home, it was me that she bestowed her treasured fabric collection to and in it I found scraps of clothes she had made me.  I just love that sort of legacy - the kind you can feel, smell and get comfort from. And I share her tummy-flipping kind of love for fabric. 

She was so proud of me no matter what I did.  Sure she often criticised me as well, saying I work too much, my hair-do was awful, I should wear some colour etc...but I guess that was her job...  The last time I visited her I overheard her telling her nurse about the day I was born and how excited she was to be a grandmother and how beautiful she thought I was.  My Grannie was not one for sentiment -loving yes, sentimental - no not really, so to hear that was amazing. She loved to "brag" to anyone and everyone about my work and that of my cousins and sisters.  While it's embarrassing, it's nice too.

It was always the highlight of every one of my thirty-five birthdays to get my card from Grannie.  When I was little it was always a parcel, sometimes the only parcel I'd get all year of course so I'd spend my birthday looking for the parcel van and every time without fail, something fabulous would arrive!  As I got older, it was a card with money in it and not just for me, she even sent it to my children on their birthdays!  It wasn't ever about the money, it was that she never forgot!

And it's because of Grannie that I let my children jump in my bed when they're scared, and it's almost mandatory for morning snuggles in our house!  She would travel over to stay with us and sleep in one of those awful camp stretcher beds and every time without complaint, when I woke up with a "nightmare" she'd let me in where it was warm and cozy and snuggle me back to sleep.  I miss that.

She made the BEST chocolate cake, curried sausages and caramel slice of anyone I know and it was her that taught me how to make hedgehog - yum!

When she was still married to Grandpa, we would stay at their beautiful home in Geelong with the sun deck and the little trapdoor that went through the pantry to the laundry.  I could always smell the washing drying in the dryer.  A smell I still adore today - the smell of clean linen and washing powder and the warmth that is the essence of home.

She kept the towels she bought for my sister and I - the green ones with owls on them, that we used every time we stayed.  And my sheets that she gave me years ago - Old King Cole flanny sheets.  They were ALWAYS on "my" bed when I went to stay.  

As I have grown she has taught me things about womanhood, told me things about motherhood and aging - particularly about friendships with other women.  It was her that supported me when a "friend" hurt me a couple of years ago.

Ugh words can't express how I feel right now - disbelief, distraction, sadness, relief, joy, gratitude, devastation - all of it rolled into one.  I'm devastated she's gone, shattered, yet strangely peaceful in the knowledge that she's been relieved of her wordly trappings, her soul is now free.

To my gorgeous Granny Smith who really did grow green apples, I love you, I miss you already and my life will never be the same now you're gone.  May your weary body rest in peace Grannie and thankyou for all the life lessons you taught me.  I hope you realise what you meant to me  - your oldest granddaughter xx

I'm not having a crisis.....honest....

...but I got this done last week....

The bar piercing that is - known as a 'scaffold' or an 'industrial'.  I already had the high ring piercing and the bar goes either side of it.  I know what you want to ask,"Did it hurt?" and the answer is, "Hell yes!"  It was a needle piercing so a cut to fit the bar.  It was worse after a couple of days  - OUCH - but today I've been able to lay on it.  I LOVE it and before you think I am mindlessly insane, I'd been thinking about it for ages and decided to just do it.  I love piercings and it's there because I feel like I'm going through some huge changes emotionally, spiritually and philosophically and basically it's there to remind me of what I've been through, to listen instead of speak, and to not grow OLD! It's a reminder that although our bodies age and we wisen and mature, we shouldn't forget the lessons of our youth - and that's the main reasoning!

So I've been busy busy as usual, have my finger in a few pies right now, one of them being a little job I'm doing in a soon-to-be-opened cafe/art gallery here.  I've been soooooo insatiably lucky to cross paths with artist-extra-ordinnaire Kimbaross.  To cut a long-ish story short, I finally met him in person last weekend and have secured some of his DIVINE pieces for display and sale in the gallery.  Here's a couple I have here that I do NOT want to part with.  Ever.

 

I've totally stolen these pics from his site (thanks K - lol) and will have a new section at www.nicolefinlayson.com where you will be able to buy the artworks I have in the gallery online if you'd like to.  If you're interested in either of these pieces, please contact me via the email link.  If you just want to drool over his amazing portfolio check out his work here. AND if you don't want to buy these pieces you can buy prints of the pieces at the same site AND he is generously donating all profits to bushfire charities.  Awesome eh???

Speaking of all things arty, I feel a bit inferior to post this right after that creative genius BUT I finally got a chance to scribble and here's this week's effort -

A quick charcoal on canvas paper.  Man I LOVE charcoal. Anyway it's title "Resignation".  You know when you fight the daily fight and you just give up?  Well that's what I was thinking here...

I have a sketch book full of ideas for art pieces, just life gets in the way sometimes...

At least I still get to scrap - here's the last few pieces I've done for Aussie Scrap Source

Isn't that Cosmo Cricket "Everafter" range totally DIVINE!!!??  I did a layout with it today as well but can't share quite yet :)

I spent last weekend with my favourite scrappy girlfriends making pages for Sarah's Memory Gifts appeal,a  crop organised by Cindy.  We made HEAPS of pages and had a FABULOUS night with drinks, pizza and laughs all around and lucky for me the lovely Suz let me crash at her house for the night. (Actually i should say thankyou to phoebe since it was her gorgeous pink room that I got to sleep in again :) -thanks Phoebe)

Here's a few pics stolen from Cindy's blog of us feeling festive...

 

He he heeee!!!

I've been very busy with photo bookings as well this month which is SO fantastic, I'm LOVING every second still!  I have a couple of exciting things in the pipeline so I'll be busy for quite some time I reckon.

Before I go I want to share with you some more of the 10th Anniversary photos of Tanya and Michael - they were SO adorable.

 

 

 

 

 

Hotties aren't they?

I have some other stuff I'd love to share but honestly I've been sitting here for SO long, I really need to do something more constructive.  Bye for now :)

Unblocking...

Ugh I've been so creatively blocked.  I've been really "meh" and after reading a few other blogs and stuff seems I'm not the only one.  Sigh....

After spending the last week or so trying to focus on my thoughts and why I've been feeling so low, I think I've worked out some of the source of my "flat-ness".  It's not because of what I'm about to write here, but I think it's what has been pre-occupying me, in part anyway.  As any of you who've read my blog/s for a long time now you know I love a good reality blog and when it occurred to me that many people I actually KNOW were reading it, I became quite defensive and tried to blog just the superficial stuff but it's boring.  It is...

Earlier this month, we went to a 40th birthday party at a friend's house (omg WHEN did we start having friends turning 40?  Aren't we all still 21?) I FINALLY caught up face to face with a mutual friend who I'd been keeping in contact via internet and phone because her husband went missing during the Black Saturday fires.  The last anyone had heard from him was that he was evacuating but a tree had fallen across the road in front of his car and he was going to try leaving on foot.  Over a week later he was found in his car, obviously having not made it with the family dog.  It had been a LONG time waiting for news of him and no-one could look for him because it was still too dangerous. It is a devastating event as it has been for all of the victims :(

Now I have never met him, only his wife and his 8 year old son who I met through one of my best friends and we've had lots of fun together.  We clicked right away, have heaps in common and she's just the kind of person I felt like I'd known for years.  her son slept over the first night we met him and he gets on really well with my Alex as they have heaps in common with Lego, Star Wars, Captain Underpants, you name it they love it.

So....We walk into the party and I finally see her face-to-face and I hug her and ask her how she is and listen to how she's been.  The media, the police, the community, the business side.  The sadness she feels at losing her husband and the home they built together and the family dog and I'm partially speechless at the stuff she's been through yet at the same time I'm searching for the right thing to say (not that it matters really, it changes  nothing.)

Her little boy is running madly around with the other kids, probably grateful to be a kid for a bit and worry about nothing more than whose turn it is on the Playstation and who can do the loudest armpit farts.  He sees me and comes over and hugs me.  Not unusual, lots of kids hug me when I see them.  He says, "Hey Nicole my Dad's dead, did you know my Dad is dead?"

"I know sweetheart", I answer and I want to cry, "I'm really sorry to hear your Dad's gone mate." And I had a lump in my throat the size of my fist I reckon, I was choking.

"Does Alex know?" he asks me and I tell him that I haven't told him yet so he heads over and says, "Hey Alex my Dad is dead from the fires." And my Alex thankfully who has never had to hear anything like that before answers something like, "Oh" and I'm so proud of him for not even trying to find something to say but to answer as it came out his mouth and they head off to bounce in the jumping castle after dinner.

I grabbed my friend's son, held his shoulders and tell him I'm sad about his Dad and that I had a little cry for him when I heard he'd been found, as I had, and that it wasn't fair and if he needed anything let me know and he was SO gorgeous, he answered with, "Can I sleep at your house tonight?"

We already had our nephew staying but looking at his Mum later and her exhausted state, I made sure she got home safe and took her son home with us so he could escape it all for a bit - the people all looking at him with sympathy, the constant chatter about the tragedy, all that stuff must be draining on a kid despite the beautiful intention. 

He was so gorgeous how he had just said it how it was and I thought about how much HE had taught ME about getting on with stuff.  When we were driving home, he told me how all these people were giving him free Lego for nothing and how cool it was and why would they do that?  His innocence broke my heart, I wished I could hug him and his Mum and make it all go away.  Nothing makes what happened okay and worse still was that it was deliberately lit and now people's lives have been wasted for what?  Some scumbag's thrill?  Ugh...but this little eight year old in his wisdom marvelling at his free Lego and complaining that his school had only been closed for a week when some kids got two reminded me that being sucked into the abyss of pessimism and anger was going to help no-one and certainly not him or his Mum.

Now weeks on, it's obvious that people's trauma is coming out as the shock wears off.  Even this morning I popped into one of our op-shops and the lady beside me starts telling me all about how the fires are coming back and as she speaks it's obvious she's scared even though she wasn't directly affected.  I think it has become apparent to us all that it could happen to any of us at any unexpected time and I think that the greater community as a whole is really affected by it all. Me included. 

There's an email going around with photos of the bushfires.  Obviously someone has collected images from online to create the email because one of them in the email is one that I took from near my house. At the time it was kind of exciting I guess but I can tell you that when I was taking them I was SHAKING! And while I was scared, I figured if it got any closer, we'd leave town.  Then I find out that we couldn't have even if we'd wanted to because every road out was closed because they were surrounded by fire. Glad I didn't know that on the day.

Today I received an SMS from Victoria Police using the newly implemented (I'm guessing) warning system that I saw something about on the news.  What a great idea. I guess every mobile phone in the state received the message today.  It was a warning that tomorrow will bring us extreme weather conditions again and to be alert. It kind of scared the crap out of me although my gut instinct tells me we'll be okay.

Fingers crossed, this year is unique.  I for one am used to fire season each year, we're all used to fires in the bush in Summer but of course not to this extent.  Between the fires and the pinch of our suffering economy, I'm fighting hard against the thought process of "What's the point?"  Talking to people around me seems I'm not the only one....

Okay enough ranting for me for now.  I'm writing a new post to follow this one so it's not on top.  I have considered keeping this post private, but what the hell eh?

We are okay...

..but before I blog the fires I want to post the final list of the Friendship journal for anyone who is looking for it. Participating are the following people -

1. Nic
2. Marie
3. Julie
4. Suzitee
5. Ngaire
6. Lara
7. Jenni
8. Jocelyn
9. Jody
10. Tanya
11. Jodii
12. Cindy
13. Leesa
14. Samantha
15. Shazz
16. Kellie

Pleeeeease tell me I have NOT missed anyone.  I had replies here, on Facebook and in my email and in the madness of the weekend I think I have collated them all.  If I have missed you on this list, don't panic, please just remind me and I will pop you back in.  Girls if you haven't done so already I need you to email me your address details so I can get lists out.

Right well unless you've been in the Big Brother house this week, you will know what a horrendous time we've had in Victoria over the last few days with bushfires.

We weren't under direct threat here but we were close.  Too close.  Close enough to pack the car.  Would have been useless though because all roads out of town had fires.

I took these photos from near our house early Saturday...

It was SO hot but our house was okay.  The smoke was a bit scary but the fire was quite far away.  This is the Bunyip Ridge fire.

Only hours later, it looked like this..

The wind was strong and hot and blew around in a strange way, the air was thick and horrible to breathe, and the light was golden.  Despite the wind everything felt really still and spooky.  This is near our house, I didn't want to go far.

I thought I'd go up a road out of town a bit to get good photos of the smoke from a distance so I headed out a little and the ash was blowing around and the skies were dark and I saw fire trucks ahead so I stopped as I didn't want to get in the way at all.  I was quite a distance away though when I saw FLAMES on the horizon - OMG!

On the left, the glow on the horizon was high flames and you can just see the fire trucks to the right of the pic at the end of the road. I was scared then because I didn't realise it was anywhere near this close to us.  I headed straight home but noticed smoke over the other side of town in the distance, drove straight past our house and to the end of our street where I could see smoke a few roads over. 

Moments, maybe seconds later I saw this coming over the hill towards us...

Seeing how fast the other fire had moved and then seeing that heading towards us from the other direction was terrifying.  That wasn't even the biggest fires and for the people who faced the big fires and the CFA and emergency workers, I just don't know how they do it.  I raced home and started packing photos and irreplaceable stuff.  I'm disgusted at myself about my scrapbooks.  I have layouts all over the place and hardly any in albums - they're stuffed in cupboards, in boxes, on shelves, some at Simply Said and all mostly loose and I had to muck around looking for them.  I'm determined to get them sorted this year and in order.

This fire was brought under control within a few hours, in fact we were able to go and see it from the other side which was good to reassure the kids.

Although Alex in particular has had a hard time sleeping.  But haven't we all?  Nathan stayed up that night patrolling outside for embers as we were at risk of live embers starting a fire - so scary.

While the reason is devastating, Mother Nature sure puts beautiful light and colour shows on don't you think?

I have to admit I sat outside for a while just looking at the colours, they are unlike anything else.

The devastation as you would know has been horrendous and I find myself crying if I watch or listen to the media.  There are just no words for it. 

I even choked up after the fire had passed just looking at the devastation of our beautiful area.  These are from Labertouche - the Bunyip Ridge fire..

I have lots more post-fire photos at this link - Bushfire aftermath

I was lucky to get into this area actually, I tagged along with Nathan when he did a delivery.  The roads in and out are blocked unless you have reason to go there.  I felt really teary like I said, it's usually such a lush green area - so sad.  On a brighter note, it was quite odd to see a lot of blackness and then a house in the centre - saved.  a great sight!

So that brings me to this very worthy project, the brainchild of Sarah Gladman that I am MORE than happy to support -

Please visit Sarah's blog and help out if you can.

The towns around us have had so much damage and it's just heartbreaking how many lives have been lost.  It's unfathomable, the whole tragedy, just so sad. 

On a brighter note, I'll leave you with my recent projects for Aussie Scrap Source.  I've also been very fortunate to get my hands on some of the new products comig from CHA.  OH MY GOODNESS, they're awesome..:)

Here's my stuff anyway,

I've given up on Project 365 - who was I kidding like really?

And I have a couple of photo shoots on the weekend so i'll be busy busy busy.  One that I had this weekend had to cancel because her home is still under bushfire threat and very close.  Even though I said I'd still do it she said she couldn't relax to have her photos taken.  Just goes to show how the ripple effect is happening.  It's going to be a long recovery process for everyone.

It has reminded me again to be GRATEFUL for what I have and APPRECIATE being a survivor and to help others in their time of need.  We're so lucky and thankful for all of the emails, text messages and phone calls regarding our safety and checking in.  We even got many offers for a place to stay if we needed it - so many generous Australians so so lucky.

Almost three weeks in..

Okay so my last post was a bit of a flaky update which we all need but I have stuff on my mind and as it's way past my bedtime and I'm feeling restless, what better place to offload than here right?

It's nearly three weeks into 2009 and I'm feeling uneasy as I am UNPLANNED!!!

Big deal I hear you say but it is for me.  I'm never unplanned at the beginning of a fresh New Year.  In fact i spend much of the post-Christmas week making plans for the next year, listing things I'd like to achieve or just changes I'd like to introduce.  I am usually quite retrospective and review how the previous year went.

But this time I feel like I haven't had a chance, or possibly like I haven't made the time and it's made me incredibly uneasy.  Anal retentive much?  Hmm....

I need to sleep so I'm getting this down, feel free to skim.  Or leave as I may rant.  Or hang with me and give me your feedback!

• The fact is that I consider 2008 a year that falls into the category of a little bit crappy.  Not as bad as 2007 mind you but not one of our best - sigh....our baby went to school (that was bad but good as well), Nath lost two contracts, yes two.  He had to take a pay cut which meant we ate into our savings and now we have a whopping tax bill that we will be paying off for ages - grrr.....plus Centrelink made a mistake, yes it was THEIR fault but now I have debt to them that I'm paying off too....***grumbling about how much money pisses people off***
• I went back to the kind of job I'd just left because I felt I had to.  I left the job type in 2007 for many reasons, but because I didn't want to teach regularly anymore.  But I jumped straight back in when Nath lost his job.  And I loved it for a while, but it was a bit of a drag really mostly.  Let me clarify though - I had a great time at the location with fabulous customers and stuff, the bit that dragged was my part - the planning and stuff, just not my thing as much anymore. I've made great friends and laughed my head off, just the logistical side of teaching has lost it's shine for me.  For now.
• It wasn't all crappy, I joined Aussie Scrap Source and I have loved that!  Heaps! And I still do! 
• The kids did okay at school, Maddy did especially well although I missed her madly.  Alex was just as fabulous academically but in the school yard he struggled a bit.  And I feel sick that he has to go back to school.  I'm not sure about his grade placement and it's all very anxiety causing.
• We lost our poor cat - our Basil-cat, after fourteen years.  I'm still sad...and miss him terribly..
• Nath has found a permanent position now so that's all good..
• I became really disorganised and I HATE that!  So much! In fact it's one of the things that tick me off about last year.....I felt like I was so busy my feet couldn't keep up.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Like really?  I KNOW it's not just me.....

I'm getting a bit bored with writing about 2008 now, I'm thinking I need to get some stuff down for 2009.  Not resolutions so much, more like a loosely outlined sketch if you like....

• Go to bed at a normal hour.  I'm hopeless, it's after midnight now, it's crazy!  I don't sleep enough or I get into the stupid habit when there's no school of staying up late and getting up late and losing half the day - not good.  I also know I'm getting old when I'm going about losing half a day....
• Say no.  If I'm busy, just say no, sorry, I can't do that.  I'm so gutless sometimes, I really hate letting anyone down - grrr...but I have to, it's stupid not to.
• Spend LESS time at the computer.  I fear my children growing up and remembering only the back of me at the computer.  I will admit that I have already put this into play.
• Read more.  Yes books, read them.  It's important for sanity to read.  Again, I have been doing that, part of my breaking up with the computer strategy...
• Bake.  Heck that scares me to even type that.  Now that I'm home more there's no reason the kids shouldn't have more nutritious food in their lunches. Seriously we've been terrible in the last year.  I have put on so much weight it's disgusting.
• Walk.  I was in such a wonderful habit last year, then I got a cold, and the chiropractor said I needed to rest from walking for a bit (like a week tops) and that was excuse enough for me to quit - ugh!
• Find some willpower (see last point)
• Look at more art.  It's purely for my own entertainment and inspiration.  i need to see more.  It gives me passion and motivation in every area of my life.  I forgot that for a few years.
• Draw.  I remember how much I love it and again it fuels and inspires me.
• Focus on my photography and build it into the business I dreamed of when I was seventeen.  Talk about slow......;)  I love it, it excites me, it's where i'm meant to be at I'm sure.  I couldn't have so much fun doing it and have it not be somewhere I'm meant to be.
• Get there on TIME!  I've become an incredible pain in the ass with my inability to arrive on time to anywhere.  I don't understand when or how I became so tardy.  It sucks.  It needs to change....
• Spend more time cloud watching with the kids.  Or other stuff.  Again I've done that already.  It was my main motivator to cut right back on teaching/working.  I can't cram everything into 24hours, something had to give and it can't be the kids.
• Give quality time to Nathan instead of saying I'm busy....yep all of us humans need attention.  I get so busy sometimes I forget to give enough..

Right that's better.  In short I need to concentrate on -

• Quality time for Nathan and my kids.  And some of my friendships while I think of it.  Being busy shows you who your real friends are...:) Taking time to laugh and smell the roses and anything else cliche I can think of...
• Creativity -I need to 'play' this year.  For the sake of my scrapping and my sanity and the happiness of the family, I need to play creatively and immerse myself in all things inspiring...
• Health - mine and that of my family - better food, exercise, less ass-sitting at computer...SLEEP
• Business - my photography. Because it's what I love and because I have to work, and I want to work too.
• Organisation - Punctuality and the smooth running of the family home.  No looking for a lost shoe or school hat at 8.50am.  Not good.  It makes me wild when I don't keep things organised, makes me feel like an inadequate mother...
• Alone time.  We all need to replenish.  I have girly weekends away booked for March and April already.  And I'm going to go.  And not feel guilty.  It's essential that women (men too) get time out.  And I'm taking it!
• And I'm doing project 365. I just decided then.  Not sure how exactly but I'll think of something. Maybe I could just blog it.........
• I'm starting all of these things tomorrow.  Oh I mean today, grrrr....12.37am - why did'nt I just go to bed two hours ago - seriously?

See I told you it'd be rambly......you can wake up now, it's over!  lol....

Priceless

While shopping at Target a few nights ago:

Maddy:  "Mum can I get some new thongs please?"

Alex:    "Yeah can we?"

Me:     "Well you do need new Summer shoes let's have a look.

Maddy:    "Hmm, Mum I think I need some high heels"

Me:        "Really? Why would you want those?"

Maddy:     "I'm going to be a woman soon you know Mum and I'll need high heels when I'm a woman soon..."

Me:        Totally speechless. 

I thought she was only six.  Apparently that means you're almost a woman!

She does look older with a fringe now I guess.....

So things have been hectic to say the least and I can't believe Christmas is upon us already.  I had a wee panic last week when I realised denial was not a good option for Christmas shopping and I fulfilled my most loathed task of supermarket shopping.  $600 later YES $600 (well $648 if you're my husband adding up the dockets) and it's done.  And I still forgot a couple of #$%^& things! And that was without presents!!!!

Hmm....

Once the shopping and stuff were done I called into the Simply Said chick night.

Don't even ask why I'm on the bar, honestly....lololol...

Just realised I've been so slack with the blogging I haven't even shared these from Halloween 2008!

There were heaps more but posting them would involve having to resize them and stuff and may lose interest mid-way and not bother finishing this post.

We raised over $500 for breast cancer and a fab night was had by all!

I was also lucky enough to take classes with Melissa Frances while she was in Australia.  See that's me with Melissa....

And with Sandie and Marie...

And since I'm on the topic of scrapping celebs, I met Heidi Swapp and did her classes - her all day ones PLUS her retailers class that night.

And FINALLY got to meet Steph and Caz from Aussie Scrap Source, goodness knows we work together yet have never met!!

AND got to spend the day with she who it is a priviledge to call my friend Suz

Speaking of Suz, we had dinner in Berwick last Sunday night with the Bridge club girls who NEED BLOGS!!!  Here we are!

And here we are with Cindy!

Andin the last couple of days last month, Suz and her gorgeous babies joined us on one of our city adventures off to see the Myer windows and spend the day in Melbourne checking out all things Christmassy!

Nice to be in the company of one who 'gets' the whole constant photo taking thing.  Wish we'd had longer yet I think the kids were ready to go home when we did...

Dodgiest photo ever - might well be one of my faves - lol.....

Love Suz's handful of rubbish and the girls trying to jump up from the bottom.  It was hot and sweaty and a total adventure as you'd expect with 4 kids and 2 Mums!!! The train trip was fabulous and easy - yay!

Also realised I never shared any pics from Maddy's school excursion to Puffing Billy. It was a mad day, I drove over to Puffing Billy following the bus as the kids were only going one way which meant I had to follow (they needed parent helpers but they couldn't fit on the bus!) then catch the train back again with Maddy before driving back.  On top of that night Alexander had basketball and then I was off on the Simply Said retreat.  What can I say - I got to retreat at about 11pm I think and I was totally exhausted and in need of a break!  Okay I scrapped non-stop but nice to have meals made for me and no housework!

And retreat pics....

That pic is a shocker but I love it.  It's me and one of my my cabin-buddies Julie. Look behind us, isn't it gorgeous?

The next one in 2009 is booked out, in fact I can't even fit!  Let me know if you're interested in hanging out there and maybe we can book the place for a scrappy weekend.  It was a total treasure found by Raylene, I think I'm taking some time out there with Nath and the kids next year - woohoo!

During the time I've been absent from my blog here I've been scrapping, photographing and Mamma-ing - all the good stuff.  My photography has been very very busy although slowing down this week for Christmas.  I'm so excited to be able to say I have bookings into January already with only a few spots left!!

I've been doing a lot of re-assessing and soul searching over the last couple of weeks, mainly because I had to.  For those of you who who know about my PTSD you'll know occasionally it nips at my heels and it decided to pay me a visit this month - blah!  It's a life-long battle really, I just take one step at a time....Anyway I could whine about it or feel grateful that it makes me re-assess and that's what I have done - re-assessed ready for 2009. 

I have resigned from teaching regular weekly and/or fortnightly classes at Simply Said.  Not because I don't like it there but because I simply cannot fit everything that I want to into each day, and I've kind of lost interest, so I'm letting it go.  I will still be doing a few weekend workshops making major projects - an all-day type thing so for everyone who has enquired about my canvas class it will be going ahead and I can't wait. 

The Book of Me class has new teachers and I will be focusing on my photography.  I am loving it.  Really and truly LOVING it and get excited like a kid at Christmas before each shoot.  I still love scrapping, I just need to do some other stuff too.  The ladies who are teaching at Simply Said in 2009 are fresh and new and clever and things can only get bigger and better there with the 2009 plans.

And of course I'll still be working for Aussie Scrap Source and doing stuff for Scrapbook Creations magazine, and they have big 2009 plans too.  It's an exciting time!!!

Since I'm chatting away about scrapping and photography, I'll share some work done for SS and for Aussie Scrap Source.  To see my photography, check out my photo blog - Nicole Finlayson Photography
(hmm must update that too - lol)

You can get this baby book kit from Simply Said....

And also these.....cute eh?

One more photo of my very clever boy and his sock puppet that he made for school...

 

And some of the Santa photos I took last Sunday, or was it the one before? My Santa was out of action, lucky my gorgeous husband came to the rescue much to the delight of his children....

 

...and his relieved Mrs Claus...

 

Well....what a huge post, I think I need a lie down!  If you still read my blog despite my sporadic posting, feel free to say hello.  If I don't get around to posting beforehand, I hope you have a lovely relaxed Christmas and thanks for popping in this year :)!!

Life Lessons

Well I'm pretty sure it's official now.  Our beloved Basil-cat is not coming back. :(

Yesterday I saw Madeleine in the backyard sitting at the picnic table looking through a scrapbook of pages she'd made herself.  I went and sat with her and asked her what she was doing.  She told me she was really missing Basil and if she showed him her scrapbook with photos of him in it, he'd realise how much she loves him and then he would come home to her.

Oh it just broke my heart.  She truly thought he left because he didn't realise that we love him so much.  Then she thought maybe he didn't like the food we were feeding him and a whole host of other reasons that all made perfect sense.  It was awful, in fact I am still choking up thinking about it.

So we told both kids the truth, that we think he has died.

And they were heartbroken.  We all were.  Nathan too.  We all cried.  And cried.  And cried.  And poor Alex was just so so sad.  It was one of those horrible moments where you wish you could hug their pain away.  But of course I couldn't.  It was just awful.  We had no explanation for them.  Except that death is part of life.  We shared funny happy memories and told the kids it's okay to be sad.  But it's okay to be happy too. 

So after an exhaustive sook-session, Nathan took the kids to play with some friends and it was the perfect distraction.  Alex was sad again last night but I think they'll be okay.  It's a hard thing to learn but not a lesson we can avoid forever.  I can't help but keep checking the front door looking for him though. :(  I'm heartbroken. That furry little creature has been with us forever. :(  But life goes on....

I scrapped my behind off yesterday.  I have masses of mojo and creative energy and am hanging out to channel it somewhere!  Wish I had more time to make stuff - grr...

Kids are on holidays from today and they were wild.  Oh dear they are so energetic and BOTH blessed with the gift of verbal diarrhea.   Lucky me.  Not.  Oh boy I'm hanging out for some serenity already and it's only the first day!  I was a bit busy finishing off work stuff so preoccupied I guess but tomorrow we might do some cooking I think.  I put them to work tonight putting washing away and doing other chores and have told them if they tell me they're bored, the grout in the bathroom needs a clean, the windows need washing and the car needs a clean.  Reckon they'll be bored tomorrow.  Nope I don't!  I'm hoping we make it out for a bike ride tomorrow.  That should tire them out!

They did give me two minutes of their time today though.  I need this for a class sample and they turned out better than I anticipated - yay!!

You can hardly tell they spent a large portion of today bickering at each other - lol.  Little treasures. I actually do love having them home on holidays.  Mostly - lol!

That's it for today - seeya xx

Today....

Okay so I *may* have dropped my bundle last night.

I *may* have had too much to drink 'blush'

I *may* have dragged my pathetic sooky ass to bed very early last night.

But today is a new day right?

I'm still sad about my cat.  Shattered still, but life goes on right?  And the other stuff.  Well I've come this far right?

Hmm......here's what I found in the issue of Scrapbooking Memories that I picked up at the shops today.

 
I did this during that feral heatwave we had earlier this year!  Bit weird to think about that now after seeing snow from my window on the mountains.  IT hasn't lasted long this year. :(  So far...

Well I've managed to fritter away just about all day today and achieve nothing.  Grr....Nath is fishing, kids are being good and I feel crap and can't be stuffed doing anything!

Meh, who cares it's the holidays right?

Lol...

 

Speedy

I've been so insanely busy this week but it's been a good kind of busy.  I'm working on a couple of magazine features and they're due next week and as usual, my inspiration hasn't hit until close to the deadline and now I'm working on it all like a mad woman.  It never hits me until near the deadline and to be honest I haven't come up with all the ideas I need yet.  But I'm not fussed.  I've never missed a deadline yet so it's all good.

I've been very needed this week.  It's good to be needed don't you think?  Sometimes I know we can all get a bit overwhelmed when people need us but it's nice to know that people think of me when they are in need if that makes sense.  I'm teaching Grade Threes how to make friendship bands today, done the medicine run for a friend's sick child, helped someone who had a fall, kept an eye on my Dad, listened to someone cry, given art materials advice and fixed some stuff,  listened to my baby read and it goes on.  Sometimes I get fed up when I feel like I'm needed all the damn time but can you imagine no-one ever needing, or worse still wanting anything from you?  There's my big thought for the day - I'm grateful to be needed, or at least seem reliable enough to be of help.

Okay enough of the philosophical thoughts for today, here is this week's class sample - Doodling for Boys.



Took me AGES to draw all that!

Oh and we had this in the local paper this week.  This is the crew of Simply Said.



Ugh looking at that photo, my hair is way too long.  I'm getting it chopped off tonight hooray!

Okay I better get moving - I have a quiche to bake and washing and scrapping to get sorted before teaching these Grade Threes, getting haircuts and racing to Basketball!  Phew - gotta love being busy, never a dull moment!

Have a good weekend - seeya!

I'm thinking that.....

.....pyjama days should just be renamed to "do-twice-as-much-tomorrow" day.

Grr, a little bit of slacking yesterday and I had to spend today catching up!  What a pain!

Of COURSE I ran all day, and of COURSE we were out of all the essential stuff and of COURSE the boys got to go to the movies while I had to do the @#$%^&* grocery shopping - BLAH, then home again to piles of washing, a bigger pile of ironing and a big huge mess!  Double, triple, quadruple BLAH!

Of course if I'd left it all, our whole week will be disorganised and I have to admit I've spent much of today grumbling about how women of this century are no less oppressed than the women of last century and what can I do to ensure my daughter has a better way of living than I do.

That was sparked by a dinner conversation I had last night.  We had dinner and drinks at the home of friends of ours and usually we end up partying the night away but honestly none of us could be bothered last night.  We went thinking that we'd have to leave the kids and Nathan and I would stumble home having had too much to drink as per usual, but we didn't.  I only had a couple of drinks over a few hours.  Kids came home and I even drove.  Unusual for us.  We still had a lovely night but we were ALL saying how much we needed to sleep.  Are we getting old?  Is it the cold weather?  Is it our lifestyles?  Will it EVER slow down?  Will we EVER cram all the stuff in that we try to?  I wonder if things ever slow down because I'm certainly not the only busy person in the world.  Everyone is busy pretty much and while I'd rather be busy than bored, I thought that I'd get some breathing space.  But not for now.  There's always something I NEED to do. Mind you I had so much stuff I NEEDED to do today I was grateful to be doing it without a hangover! 

Maybe it's the way I prioritise.  Maybe I don't manage my time well.  Maybe in this day and age women are not only expected to manage the house and family but also expected to maintain a fabulous relationship, a job and career, AND a social life while keeping fit and active and  and and and and......I wonder if anyone has worked out the secret of juggling it all yet.

If they have I wish they'd show me how it's done because right now I feel like I'm not keeping on top of all the stuff I'm meant to at all!  Bills need to be paid, things need to be sorted, deadlines need to be met, gardens need weeding, car needs cleaning blah blah de blah blah! Not to mention all the people in my life I haven't gotten around to visiting/catching up with and it's not because I don't want to......sigh....

Overall though I've got it all pretty good, but I wonder if we have things better or worse than those who've come before us.  I'm feeling a bit philosophical about it all really, wondering how things will be for my kids as adults, in particular Madeleine given that she'll be a woman.  I guess only time will tell and we can only do what we think is best at the time...

Off the topic now, I'm off to Bridge Club tomorrow and I CAN'T WAIT!  That's the other reason I've been running like a mad woman.  I'll be out all day tomorrow, then work this week and other stuff so I need to be super organised.  I'm there now I think - everything is ironed, shopped for, sorted.

Fingers crossed I'm prepared for another crazy fast week! Hope you are too. :)