Everyday Insanity and Delight

 

  Hi I'm Nic, and this is my blog. That's my cheeky family. I'm the sole operator of Nicole Finlayson Photography and I have the best job, and the best kids in the world!

If you want to see my work, it's here - Nicole Finlayson Photography

Here on my blog I tend to waffle on about this and that and sometimes don't post for ages! I do love to write and share stuff about shoots I've done, things I've created, and sometimes just stuff that's in my head. I write it as I'd speak it and speak it as I think it. It's just the everyday events and craziness that surround my little family and the people that are part of it.

Feel free to say hi. I love it when people say hi! 

 

New Year's noodle-heads....

New Year's Eve.  Hmm, some years I'm busting to party, others I really can't be bothered.  This year I couldn't be bothered until friends suggested we just hang out for dinner and a few drinks together.  So that's what we did.  Easy night, takeaway pizza in our backyard, probably for the last time ever as we are moving house in a month!

Mmm yep, our backyard has hosted some cool memories over the past almost ten years.  I'm feeling a bit sentimental actually but I'm saving that for a post I'm not writing in my pyjamas at 1 in the afternoon. Oops.

Truth is about these pics though is my friends all tell me to go away when the camera comes out but I think they secretly like it. Please, why would I NOT take photos and besides, it's me that they come to when they need a pic for something so I've decided all the protests are pretend and when I insist on a stupid pic with each of them, they comply.  Eventually.

It was nice.  It was hot.  I drank too may Cosmopolitans, and stupidly I think it was because I was actually thirsty.  They didn't mix well with cream off the pavlova later that night but the good thing was that the feeling it gave me stopped me drinking and hence saved me a feral hangover! 

Kids all played nicely, nothing was too trashed and so another year begins....

Merry

Christmas in our household came and went quickly.  I hate to admit it but I find Christmas to be somewhat of a nuisance given that it falls within my busiest worktime - wedding season.

There's so many damn things on that I'm expected to attend, the kids get busy and the bit I really loathe is the fake cheer and crap that comes from advertising.  I feel pressured to create some amazing ambiance at home and wear emotions of peace and goodwill when I'd really like to shop with a cattle prod and roundhouse kick every battery operated singing Christmas decoration in the country.

However......this year I was kind to all of us and I did most of my shopping online - hooray! eBay, Dick Smith, Big W, Toys R Us, Fishpond, Red Balloon and Readings were a few of the sites I shopped at and everything except for one gift made it well in time.  I live nowhere close to any of these shops so it was well worth paying their delivery fees to save me the petrol and incidental extras I'd incur shopping PLUS - no crowds or exasperated sales assistants. 

So our Christmas was quiet as usual with both kids telling me it was their "best Christmas ever!"  This reminded me what it was all about and ignited a spark of spirit when i found it Christmas Eve with Santa's drink and biscuits...and seems that Miss M was pleased with what Santa left behind :)

Our Alexander-Panda got the gift he thought he wouldn't when he opened this - THE Panda iPod docking station that he desperately wanted along with a pile of all things Nerf

They had HEAPS of presents and I adored being able to give them lots this year!  The nicest part was when Alex hugged me and said he couldn't believe he got EVERYTHING on his list and more.  Nice.

The morning looked much like this before lunch at my youngest sister's house with her husband, bubba, our Dad and my other sister and her kids. 

We all cook something and take it so none of us are stuck with all of the cooking.  It was great but so damn exhausting!

We headed back later for dinner with our Mum and her partner.  Amazingly my scalloped spuds and dessert for lunch were awesome.  My pav and spuds for dinner were meh.  Pasta salad on both counts was pretty good though....

The nicest part of the Christmas was that it was my nephew Rajeev's first Christmas.  I just love the look of "What's this all about?" on his face and then he was so exhausted he couldn't fight the sleep any longer. Any time with him is amazing and happy and lovely..

All of the kids got along nicely and it was relaxing and lovely out on my sister's deck looking over towards the mountain range.  Mother Nature was stormy and rumbly and looked spectacular!

When I look at these images, of this amazing Christmas Day sunset, it reminds of the amazing sunset and light at dusk last Christmas Day and if I were a religious person, I'd look at this heavenly light and well, I'd wonder what made it so ;-)

Hello Spring!

Man!  I'm so glad it's Spring today!  I love Winter really but wow it's been LONG and so flippin cold!  I'm glad to see the longer daylight hours and my kids outside after school, it's ace!

Quick post today since I should be outside hanging washing and finishing off my client orders rather than sitting here before this afternoon's maternity shoot but firstly my husband Nathan had a birthday and he joked that he wanted a Totoro cake.  Of course I had to make him one.  A seriously rushed one and possibly a bit dodgy but here it is :)

Kids and husband were suitably impressed I think..

I've been making more hair goodies for my Madeit store and while it was down for a few days I found myself swiping bits out for me, like this one -

But there's still heaps left :)

Lots of headbands in stock but selling rather quickly!!

Righto off to do laundry and photograph a very pregnant belly.  Hope your first day of Spring is ace!

spunky subjects & another pie...

I really don't know how I have managed not to steal anyone's babies so far.   I mean really, I just adore them and every bubba I photograph makes me CLUCKY! 

I really loved it when my kids were babies.  They were so much hard work from one time to another but it's a really lovely time having a baby in the house and often I miss it.  There's something so amazing about new life and their lack of being able to talk back, their gratitude for even the tiniest gesture, and as a parent, you're made to feel like a hero rather than an idiot who knows nothing.  Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the pre-teen phase in my household mostly but OH how I love babies!!

And how could I not when they are as adorable as this?  It would be completely understandable if I took her home right?  Of course....however...watching her beautiful Mum and Dad in the phase of new baby smitten-ness, I'm thinking no-one could love this baby more than they do...

  And I want to share this spunky family with you too.  This is actually a pre-wedding shoot for Mum and Dad but we couldn't leave out their adorable girls.  Aren't they going to be the cutest flowergirls ever?

I have a stack of different pregnant tummy shots to edit and another pre-wed session.  Bliss.

I also FINALLY opened my online store choosing Made It over a self-hosted store.

I registered the domain cherrymumma.com.au some time ago and have been mucking around building an online store but to be honest, this is all I need so I went with it and made heaps of sales on opening night last night.  Find my store at www.madeit.com.au/cherrymumma .  I'll be adding all sorts of bits and pieces as I create them.  I'm planning on more hair accessories and some sketch books, fabric jewellery and some homeswares using my artwork.  I've been selling these hair flowers and headbands at a hairdressing salon here recently and will also be at the Rosedale Maker's Market on October 23rd.  I can't help but make stuff, my hands don't enjoy being idle and while photography is my main passion, hours at the computer can drain me.

It's been a bit tricky to juggle everything of late as I've had Alex home for TWO WEEKS off school with a pesky ear infection.  I cannot believe the stubborn germs that we are all dealing with this Winter, grrr...

He's going back to school tomorrow no matter what.  I'm so stressed this time away may have affected his learning.  He's had around 40 days off this year with different illnesses.  Not only is it awful for his education but honestly, it's a pain for me too just quietly....

I'm still struggling on and off with my "stuff" day to day but still have an unwavering determination to beat it.  Still.  My shrink has set me a couple of daunting tasks to complete before our next session which I'm trying really hard not to dig my heels into the ground and avoid it like mad. Sucking it up and just gonna do it.  Yep really I am. Yep...

Pussycat pussycat where HAVE you been.....?

Well I've not been to London visiting any Queens I can tell you.  I've been wanting to pop back in here but the longer I was away, the larger the task seemed.  Anyway I'm at the point now where if I'm not going to blog, I may as well save myself the fees and delete it.  Silly thing is though, I love my blog and sharing stuff makes me accountable for what I say, whatever that is....

So the giveaway?  Hmm my fault for being so disorganised, no-one won coz I left it way too late to claim and ugh, it's just another thing I've neglected this year and I'm going to explain part of the reason why.  2011 has not been all kind to me but it hasn't all been bad. 

For example, I had the most amazing wedding season this year kicking off with this wedding here of course and following with these.  I could clog up the internet with images from these amazing, joy-filled and beautiful weddings but I have my Facebook page for that :) Instead here's an overview....

One of these gorgeous weddings was in Tasmania, in Launceston to be precise.  I met the couple on Facebook and amazingly they met on Facebook too and it was surreal yet spectacular to meet them in real life and shoot their wedding.  The bonus of this was that I got a trip to Tassie, and I'd never been there before :)

I missed my family but oh how lovely it was to be away.  Alone. :D

As well as weddings I was shooting babies, families, engagements, grandparents, you name it, I've been photographing it ;)

Around Easter though, I started feeling like things were getting on top of me, like I wasn't "right".  Only my work was keeping me joyful and normal, but I was also getting overwhelmed with the sheer enormity of my workload and lack of ability to concentrate.  I knew things weren't right especially when I wasn't keeping up with my Design Team committments to Aussie Scrap Source.  Despite my best intentions, I just lost the ability to scrap well and just couldn't pinpoint why so I resigned.

I assumed I was feeling so "off" because I was so busy.  I was actually incredibly distracted by nasty thoughts about myself and started losing my confidence in everything I did from scrapping, to photographing, parenting, you name it, I was pretty convinced I was completely crap at it.  Despite the amazingly happy feedback I received from my clients, I was completely convinced that everything I did was hopeless.  I stopped paying bills, just couldn't keep up with our budget, my house became a mess and we were completely disorganised.  I started to work out why but was not willing to give into it.

It was that black-dog-bitch.  Depression, or more accurately in my case - PTSD. I knew she was coming back to haunt me in all her gloomy nastiness but I was convinced it wasn't going to beat me.  I mean, how could it?  I'm now a volunteer speaker for Road Trauma Support Services. I talk about my stuff all the time and I'm FINE right?  I ignored my flashbacks, my nightmares etc.  I accepted my hypervigilence as being a caring mother and figured that I was tense because I wasn't doing enough yoga.  Sigh.  If I just got more sleep and got on top of my workload I'd be perfectly fine right.  WRONG.

In short around May, I had a nervous breakdown of sorts.  A complete, maybe my worst, PTSD regression ever.  Whilst denying it was coming back, I worked as the photographer for Fatality Free Friday which meant I was photographing ambassador Bev Brock,  race car driver Mark Winterbottom and Police Deputy Commissioner Kieran Walshe.  The day was well received and I met some beautiful people and I thought that having the courage to face it all meant I was on the mend.

I mean really....do I look stressed?

I was feeling pretty ace to be in the middle of the city contributing to a couse that I feel SO passionate about.  I was stoked.  For a while.  Truth is that after I finished, I had one of the worst panic and anxiety attacks of my life.  I literally had to stop at a servo on the way home where I was frozen, unable to get back into my car because I was terrified of getting back on the road.  I kept telling myself I was fine and in control.  I love my car, I'm okay.  But my legs WOULD NOT MOVE.

I eventually got home tired and shaky and ready to "get over it" but that attack scared me so I asked my GP to up my anti-depressant dose as it wasn't working as well.  I'd been on Lexapro for over three years as it cleared the "fog" that I get and helped with nightmares etc.  I'd be fine after that right? Of course! Heck I even did a police press conference for the Queen's Birthday long weekend telling Australia about my accident in front of media from every major news group in the state.....and I was FINE.

Local people recognized me which was a little awkward I guess but they were all so kind.  In fact everyone was so kind from the media, to police, to anyone and everyone.  It was um...surreal.

This meant I was good right? Err no.

I made it through the birthdays of both of my babies with Alex turning 12 (eh am I THAT old?) and Madeleine turning nine.

I didn't really feel present at either of their birthdays but i did my best because I was determined to stomp on that black dog bitch.  It didn't work.  It overwhelmed me and my full-on nightmares and flashbacks returned with a vengeance.  My whole household has suffered and I was close to suicidal.  I knew I had to do SOMETHING for the sake of my family if nothing else.  I just wanted to lay down and let it consume me so it would end.  Please.

My GP was my saviour and thankfully so were my kids.  Knowing that they need me well has been the main motivation for my continued need to fight.  Without them I'd have given up by now. I was referred to a specialist trauma psychologist who then referred me to a psychiatrist.  Yep a psychiatrist OMG.  Only CRAZY people need psychiatrists right? Ugh so humiliating but it's been good.

He moved me to Pristiq, a different kind of anti-depressant.  To be honest the change has been SHIT.  I've felt like it's doing NOTHING but I'm on quite a high dose now and little by little I feel like I'm coming back.  I've even ventured out with the family to the Aquarium in Melbourne a little while ago.  Felt like a total space cadet but no-one needed to know I guess....

It was really hard to stay present but again, my kids have forced me to make the effort just by their being.

I'm not doing any more talks for a while, and just staying focussed on protecting me and getting well.

My psychologist has helped me uncover so many things about me that I didn't know and it's been interesting.  It's not been pleasant but it's been cathartic.  We haven't started on the intense work yet as I have to be emotionally stable.  I'm working on it.  She encouraged me to delve back into creating art so Nathan and I worked to create me a designated art space.

It's just mine.  My space.  My desk and workspace have just been in our lounge in a shared space but this, this little corner is MINE.  So far I've created these...

Which led me to finding the courage to exhibit.  It may only be in a show organised by the TAC but it's in the divine Geelong Gallery and it's a non-threatening start.  I feel like I'm "home" when I paint or draw and I can express things through art that I can't through words. 

The exhibition opening was the perfect excuse for time in Geelong too.  I don't get there now that both of my grandparents have passed but it's one of my favourite places in the world.  It's filled with many of my happiest memories from being a small child until now.  I feel at peace in Geelong and it was just what I needed.  I took Madeleine with me and we had a girl's night starting with the exhibition opening and then staying in a multi storey hotel.  I've never seen her so excited and she just kept hugging me and saying thankyou!   So cute and a reminder of what's important.

It was also an amazing experience to see my work in a "real" gallery again after not being in one for almost 20 years and also to listen quietly to what people said.  My piece had the desired effect if what I overheard people say is anything to go by.  Viewers can vote on their favourites and pieces are for sale, all there until September 4th.  I don't expect to win a prize but hey, it'd be nice :)

The day after the exhibition opening, I was able to take Maddy to the Fairy Park in Anakie.  I was really unwell with a stupid flu-virus and feeling spacey from my anti-D drugs but we still had a lovely time :)

We took the super-duper long way home and went on a bit of an adventure, fabric shopping and just enjoying the one-on-one time together. 

I can't wait for my dissociation to be resolved.  I had no idea the way I felt had a NAME, let alone WHY I feel this way.  I do now and know that it's peaking as it did this weekend away.  It's the pits.  Really.  At least I know why I always feel like I don't belong and feel spacey.  It sucks and I had no idea it is a PTSD symptom.  I just thought I was vague :-S  It's hard to enjoy anything, I just get all kind of quiet - bah!

There is good news now, I'm feeling like my cylinders are starting to re-fire.  I feel like I'm over the hump - well some of it anyway.  I feel motivated to continue to create art and capture amazing memories for people. I even have some work on display at Tea-Lite in Warragul, the hippest little nook to relax in EVER!!!

I have something else on the burner too but I'm not teaching scrapbooking anymore.  I was recently accused by a "friend" of refusing to teach for her store but then teaching at someone else's and that wasn't the damn case at all.  I didn't get to explain, I didn't get to say it was just the occasional one when they, who are FRIENDS of mine got stuck.  The bit that makes me saddest is that I upset her without even meaning to.  It's that bullshit side of the scrapbooking industry that has now burned me one too many times now, I'm over it.  I love sharing what I know but the politics behind it really are crap so I'm stepping out of it completely.  I'll still scrap, but just for me.  Sick of the shit that goes on between women who are meant to be supporting each other.  I don't need that "you did this" bullshit.  Ugh....luckily the last shop I taught for have the same attitude as me and don't cause me any issue but I still want out...

My focus now is on my family, my babies who are growing way too fast and make me prouder and prouder each and every day. They also make me want to knock their heads together at some stage each and every day but that's motherhood right?  My Alex got into an advanced curriculum program for high school next year (yes WTF? High School) and Maddy has some seriously awesome Maths and Reading skills.  I'm so lucky.  Mind you they've had an endless line of cold after virus after bug and seem to be home ALL the flipping time :(  I've just started them on Echinacea, Anti-biotics, pro-biotics, vitamins, fruit etc you name it, it's time they get well.  It'd probably help if parent's stopped sending their sick kids to school spreading germs but that is another whole gripey post...

I'm focussing on getting well myself and trying to make amends for the dumb things I've done during my breakdown.  Bills are caught up, upcoming wedding shoots are sorted, editing all almost finished and I'm booking LOTS of weddings for next season.  BRING IT ON!  I love it!

If you read this far and stayed with me thanks.  If you're empathetic towards me, quadruple thanks.  If you're judging me because I have an emotional illness, kindly leave and may the door knock you on the way out.

So here's to my recovery and may my blog be regularly updated!  Cheers!

Drenched

Oooh everything is wet dammit.

We have had torrential rains and flooding - sigh...the back of our house flooded but we were home to save as much as we could.  Our landlord had hosed the roof when he repainted it recently and blocked the damn downpipes :( Not happy.

I have lots of pics to blog from the floods but I just wanted to quickly share this with you.  We had a little visitor here last night.  We have no idea where he or she came from but our first indication was Madeleine screaming that she could see a snake on the front verandah.  She could only see it's little head and neck and it would have looked like a snake!

Poor little thing, must have been scared with us four plus another four people who were visiting all looking at it! We were scared to leave it on it's own in case it wandered onto the road so we stashed it safely in a tub with snails to eat overnight.

After much family discussion about whether we'd take it to a reptile rescuer or not we voted to take it to the wetlands down the road from us.

The rains were SO heavy and much of the parkland was flooded quite deeply..

This is where I go walking.  There's a track under here somewhere..

We thought it was a nice place to release our new friend who was understandably very scared...

All four of us stood staring at this little turtle, getting drenched, watching our new friend...

We waited, watching, getting wetter and wetter until a little head popped out of it's shell...

We gave up waiting for it to go anywhere after that..we were freezing and wet through.

We're pretty sure it's found a good home by now :)

Stay dry everyone, take care...

And the winner is....

Untitled from Nic Finlayson on Vimeo.

Apologies for the delay.

Congratulations girl, I'll get this to you soon!

flying bunny & matching frocks

I've been sewing this week while we're all still on holidays.  I haven't gotten anywhere near as much completed as I'd hoped.

I've spent a lot of time refereeing squabbles, catching up on housework and just doing things slowly.  It's been nice. The slow, not the squabbles, they're doing my head in!

Madeleine has been nagging and begging me to make a dress for her fluffy Zhu Zhu plush.  I was excited to think she wanted to learn how to sew. Um no.  She just wanted to tell me what she wanted and then wait while I miraculously created these imagined designs just the way she wanted them.  Yikes!

I ended up making a dress for her Zhu Zhu pet but didn't get a pic oops and later these matching dresses for both Maddy and her favourite Bella-Boo.  She picked the fabric out of my stash, I've been hanging onto it for ages.  Isn't it gorgeous and cheerful!?

Could I get her to give me a "normal" photo?  Um NO.  She's mad! All she wanted was to throw Bella-Boo into the air and have me photograph her in the air.  I thought she was crazy but humoured her.  Looking at the outcome I think they're pretty cool.  Maybe she has an "eye" for a good photo :)

Don't forget you still have a couple of days to enter my giveaway!!

Happy New Year

So.  It's New Year's Eve 2010.  For the first time in forever, we are having a quiet one.  If we stay home we normally have friends over and drinks and the kids go mad squirting water pistols and I drink way too much and spend New Year's Day mildly hungover! 

This year we were invited to go away with friends.  We took too long to decide, the place booked out.  We were half-assed inviting friends over.  Nothing eventuated and when we finally got together to decide what to do, everywhere local was booked out!

We were invited to have dinner and drinks at someone's house.  We never committed.  Ah, they changed their plans.  Sigh. So here we are, home with the kids.  To be honest, I think I'm loving it.  I've had a huge tequila-fuelled margarita, apple pie and ice cream and I'm feeling FINE!

So 2010 has been an interesting year for me.  Not a bad year, but an interesting one.  My business has grown rapidly, my husband and kids have had a great year, it's mostly been fairly routine and okay.

I've been to some awesome concerts this year starting with Jimmy Barnes.

Seriously one of the best nights of my life! 

I've also been to Pixies who I have ADORED since forever,

and was completely gobsmacked at the amazing talent of The Eels.  Awesome!

Then of course I cannot forget taking my babies to their first live concert, seeing The Potbelleez.  SO cool!

I was incredibly lucky to be in Brisbane to witness the art by the amazing Ron Mueck.

And smaller exhibitions along the way.

My baby sister got married in an Indian-Australian ceremony and I wore my first (and I honestly hope LAST) sari...

I got to tour with Wendy Senger and Heidi Swapp when they came over from the USA to run their Mistified tour in Melbourne and Sydney. 

And then in their classes at SIA and also on the Aussie Scrap Source booth.  I got to hang with some old friends and met lots of gals I'd only known online.  I love that!

I got to do all that with my best scrapping, travelling sidekick Suz

Unfortunately we had to finish up our little Budget Scrapbooking business, but not before our last hoorah at the Scrapbook and Papercraft Expo in Brisbane.  It was a great show, and we got to see more scrappy gal pals but OH they are SO much work!!! :)  The shows, not they gal-pals!

My baby boy turned 11.

My baby girl turned 8.

I lost my beloved Grandpa and his funeral was one of the most awful experiences of my life :-( Having said that though, I was glad I didn't let certain *ahem* people walk all over me.

I won a weekend away in the city, just me and my gorgeous hubby.  We saw "Fame" the Musical and stayed in a swish suite!

We were so lucky that the next morning was Buddha's Day in Melbourne. It was an amazing cultural experience, I found it quite emotional and beautiful.

 

I FINALLY gathered the courage to join Road Trauma Support Services as a volunteer speaker and have spoken at several Road Trauma Awareness Seminars over the last few months.  I KNOW I have made a difference, even if only a small one.  My biggest achievement with it this year is speaking at Victoria University at an enormous Trauma symposium.  There were SO many faces looking at me, silent, engaged, some crying...it was amazing.  Afterwards many of the participants hugged me, talked to me, shared their own stories with me.  It was an amazing experience...and so cathartic. 

I like to think now that while my experience has been horrendous, it may have or may still prevent others being hurt on our roads.  After speaking to 100-200 people in a room too, I don't mind saying I left feeling like I could kick anyone's or anything ass!!!

And in light of this achievement, I got my first (and definitely not my last) tattoo.....

The photo is a phone one, pretty nasty pic, it looks better in this shot of me with my sisters...

It's just sort of over my heart.  The cherries are to remind me to stay hard on the inside, to stay strong and tough, to remain sweet and approachable as I can be but stay strong in my core being.  And I love that they're red and funky and the amazing tattooist at Warragul Tattoos convinced me to use my own drawing which she tweaked a bit until I loved it.  Tez is her name, shame she's not on the website because my inking is really fine and she rocked it and NO it didn't hurt. (Keep in mind I'm pretty fleshy right there)

I've photographed some amazing relationships, beautiful children, the miracle of pregnancy, couples tying the knot, nurtured my love of capturing connections between people and finding their true beauty, not just the cosmetic kind.  Aww makes my tummy so mooshy!

I got to shoot many images for this publication, the Tipping Foundation Annual Report.  I'm so proud to be associated with these guys, I NEVER tire of meeting their clients, and most of all I LOVE hearing their stories.  I find the clients here teach me SO much in such a short time about appreciation for what I have, appreciation for my children and most of all I love to witness their true beauty, their true love and joy of little things I take for granted.

On the scrapping front, this year I have been a bit slow.  Earlier in the year I was feeling seriously burnt-out creatively.  I'm currently on a break from my commitment on the Aussie Scrap Source Design Team.

 I am honestly starting to miss it now though.  I am glad I had the break though as I was really starting to hate it and that's the last thing I wanted. 

Here's my last few Aussie projects though...

I've done a bit of sewing, done some drawing and even sold my first piece on RedBubble

Right now though I'm feeling like I'm in a total creative funk.  In fact, it's scaring me because being creative is WHO I AM.  I have been since I was little, it's so much a part of my identity that without it I don't know who I am.

I've had a few margaritas for New Year's so I'm rambling a bit but of you'e the creative type you will know exactly what I mean when I say you tap into the "zone".  I remember watching a documentary on what makes people creative and someone described creativity as a direct line to god.  I'm not quite "there" but I'm having great difficulty tapping into THAT right now.  Sigh. 

So, anyway, instead of moping around whining, I've joined in with this starting tomorrow, erm today -

The details are here if you want to join in too.

Maybe it's my lack of ATTENTION to just being freely creative that is blocking me.

Maybe it's the silly "what's the point of making this stuff?" voice in my head.

Maybe it's the lack of confidence I have at the moment.  Grrr self-confidence is a fickle thing.

I dunno but I'm changing this in 2011.  The New Year has now ticked over and it's time to get my creative dacks back on.  For real.  Watch this space...